If you have found your way here, you are probably a parent trying to work out what kind of help your child actually needs. You have heard about ABA, maybe been told it is your only option, and something about it does not sit right.
This site was made for you.
Who I am
I am Heather Mac. I am a parent of two neurodivergent children, and we did all of it, including years of ABA.
I want to be fair about that, because I think the fairness matters. I am not saying we saw no results, because we did. What I am saying is that we were pushed to do more and more of one thing, that nobody could tell me what would count as enough, and that the version of my son who came home did not match the version described in the reports.
I am not a clinician. Not a BCBA, not an occupational therapist, not a speech pathologist, not a physician, and I hold no licence of any kind. Nothing here is medical advice. This site is not affiliated with any clinic, therapy company or insurer, and nobody pays me to take a position. You can read the full editorial policy and how the site is funded on the affiliate disclosure page.
What I was missing
Almost everything I could find when we started came from people selling the therapy. What I could not find was a parent explaining how the system actually works: why the recommendation is always the same, why insurance approves one thing instantly and rations the others, what the research genuinely shows rather than what gets claimed for it, and what to say in the room when you disagree.
So that is what this is. Every claim about research links to the source, and where the evidence is contested I say so instead of picking the side that suits the argument.
Where to start
If you have just been given a recommendation:
- Why ABA is always the first recommendation
- How to push back when it is the only thing offered
- Do you really need 20 hours a week?
If you are already in it and something feels wrong:
- How to tell if the therapy is not working
- What progress reports actually measure
- When therapy makes your child more anxious, not less
- When good behaviour is really a child shutting down
If the obstacle is money or coverage:
- Why insurance approves ABA and denies speech and OT
- How to pay for therapy your insurance will not approve
- Who profits when your child gets more hours
If you are choosing a provider or thinking about changing:
- Who is actually in the room with your child?
- How to vet a therapy provider before you start
- How to transition out of ABA
- What changed when we left, honestly
On how children actually develop:
- Being placed in a group is not the same as being ready for one
- What 20 hours a week costs the rest of your family
School, speech and the people around you
- What schools will and will not provide
- How my son’s speech actually changed
- When someone calls your child stupid
What this site is not
It is not an argument that ABA is always wrong, or that everyone providing it is acting in bad faith. Most of the people we met were doing what they were trained to do inside a structure that rewarded exactly what it measured. Plenty of families have had good experiences with providers who listened and adjusted.
It is also not evidence. It is one family, and where I describe what happened to us I say so plainly, separately from what the research shows.
What I am arguing is narrower: that you are allowed to ask what is being measured, allowed to say no to more hours, and allowed to notice when the child in front of you does not match the paperwork.
If something here is wrong or out of date, please tell me. You can reach me on the contact page and I will fix the page.
