When my child was first diagnosed, I was told what many parents are told: start ABA as soon as possible. I was given a list of ABA centers who were all eager to get me started the same day.
So we did.
At the time, I didn’t realize that different therapies are built on completely different beliefs about children, behavior, and development. I assumed they were all working toward the same goal.
They’re not.
And once I understood that, everything changed.
What I Started to Notice
In ABA, everything centered around behavior.
There were goals, data, and structure. But those goals were often about reducing certain behaviors and increasing others. It felt like my child’s actions were constantly being shaped.
At first, I trusted the process.
But over time, I started asking a harder question:
What if these behaviors aren’t the problem?
The Research That Changed My Perspective
As I dug deeper, I came across research that completely shifted how I saw my child.
Emerging research shows that autism is not primarily about behavior. It is deeply connected to sensory and motor differences.
That means things like stimming, avoiding tasks, or withdrawing are often adaptive responses. They are ways children regulate and cope with what they are experiencing.
Not something to eliminate.
That aligned much more closely with what I was seeing at home.
My child wasn’t “misbehaving.”
My child was overwhelmed.
Two Very Different Approaches
Once I understood that, the difference between ABA and occupational therapy became much clearer.
ABA is rooted in behavior modification. It focuses on using reinforcement and repetition to change observable behaviors.
Occupational therapy takes a completely different approach.
It looks at the whole child. It focuses on understanding the “why” behind behavior, including sensory processing, motor skills, environment, and emotional experience.
It’s not about controlling behavior.
It’s about supporting participation and regulation.
Training Matters
Another piece that surprised me was the difference in training.
Many of the people working directly with my child in ABA had limited initial training, sometimes around 40 hours before starting.
Occupational therapists, on the other hand, complete years of graduate-level education, including over 1,000 hours of supervised clinical work in areas like neuroscience, child development, and sensory processing.
When you understand that autism involves sensory and motor systems, this difference in training becomes very important.
Compliance vs. Autonomy
One concept that stood out to me is “volition,” which refers to a person’s internal motivation, interests, and choices.
In occupational therapy, this is central.
In ABA, I didn’t see it prioritized.
And that became a turning point.
I didn’t want my child to learn how to comply.
I wanted my child to understand themselves, feel safe, and develop confidence.
Why I Chose OT
When I stepped back, the decision became clearer.
ABA focuses on changing behavior from the outside.
OT focuses on understanding what’s happening on the inside.
ABA often measures success by reducing behaviors.
OT measures success by participation, choice, and quality of life.
And importantly, the research supports this shift in thinking, recognizing that many behaviors are rooted in sensory and motor differences, not simply something to be corrected.
That aligned with what I wanted for my child.
Where We Landed
Choosing occupational therapy wasn’t about doing less.
It was about choosing something that made more sense.
Something that respected my child.
Something that matched what both research and real life were showing me.
My child didn’t need to be trained to act a certain way.
My child needed support to feel regulated, understood, and capable.
If you’re a parent navigating this decision, I’ll say this:
Look beyond what you’re told is the “standard.”
Ask what the approach is actually based on.
For us, both experience and research pointed in the same direction.
And that’s why we chose occupational therapy.
