There was a point in our journey where our entire week was planned around ABA sessions. Monday through Friday had blocks of therapy. Saturdays filled with make-up hours. Every time I hesitated or asked about reducing the schedule, I was met with the same response: “More hours means more progress.” It sounded logical at first, and as a parent I wanted to do everything possible. But over time, I began to see the cost that no one was talking about.
My children were exhausted. Not just physically, but emotionally. They were constantly being evaluated, redirected, and asked to perform certain behaviors on cue. There was no space for spontaneous play or quiet moments. Even family time felt interrupted by the pressure to stay on track with therapy goals. Instead of seeing joyful engagement, I started to see burnout.
One thing I eventually learned is that increased therapy hours do not always lead to better long-term outcomes. Many occupational therapists and child development researchers have emphasized that rest and self-directed play are essential for regulation and learning (American Occupational Therapy Association). Watching my kids struggle to get through yet another session made me realize that therapy had crossed a line from supportive to overwhelming.
The more our schedule filled up with ABA, the less connected we felt as a family. We stopped going to the park because there was no time. We said no to birthday parties and family outings because we were “committed” to therapy hours. I remember looking at our calendar one day and thinking, This is not a childhood. This is a treatment plan.
When I finally began to reduce ABA hours, I expected pushback from my kids. Instead, I saw relief. They became calmer. They smiled more. Their natural curiosity started to return. We had time to actually talk and listen to each other without someone holding a clipboard in the background.
I am not against therapy. I am against the belief that more hours automatically mean better outcomes. Children are not projects to complete. They are human beings who need connection, safety, rest, and time to simply be themselves. Sometimes the most meaningful progress happens not during therapy, but in the quiet space we make for real life to unfold.
