If you’re a parent of a neurodivergent child, you probably know the feeling. The constant pressure to add more ABA hours.
It usually starts small. Someone suggests adding a few extra sessions each week. Then it becomes, “Your child would really benefit from at least 20 hours.” Before long, therapy fills nearly every free space on the calendar.
That was our life for a while.
Every time I hesitated, I was reminded of how “important early intervention” was. I was told that more hours meant better results. It didn’t matter that my child was tired or that our family barely had time to breathe. What mattered was keeping up with the model that measures progress by the number of hours completed.
The pressure came from every direction. Doctors referred us to more ABA because insurance would cover it. Insurance covered it because it was cheaper to fund than other licensed therapies. ABA agencies encouraged it because more hours meant more billable time.
And parents like me were left feeling guilty for even questioning it.
I still remember the day I decided to stop adding hours. My child had just finished another long week of therapy. Instead of feeling proud, I felt heavy. The spark that made him so unique had started to fade. It was clear that this kind of “help” was coming at a cost.
So I said no. We scaled back. I started trusting what I saw in my own child instead of what others told me to do.
And nothing bad happened. In fact, everything got better. My child became calmer, more confident, and more joyful. Our family found time to play again.
Saying no was uncomfortable at first. It felt like breaking the rules. But looking back, it was the best decision we ever made.
Sometimes, doing less is not giving up. It’s choosing balance, connection, and peace for your child and for yourself.
