I have two neurodivergent kids. We spent years in ABA because it was the first thing our doctor and insurance approved. It promised progress. What I saw was fast responding and tired kids. My child sounded trained, not heard.
We switched to Speech Therapy after a long, hard wait. The SLP sat on the floor, followed my child’s lead, and spoke to their interests. No forced eye contact. No token to speak. She modeled words and AAC during play and gave long pauses. My child learned to ask for help, say no, and request space. The change showed up in our kitchen, not just a clinic room.
“I can say it my way and you still listen.”
ABA had praised quick answers and sitting still. It treated scripts like a problem to fix. At home, we saw shutdowns, late-night wakeups, and a child who whispered, “Tell me what to say so we can be done.” Speech Therapy treated scripts as a bridge. The SLP echoed, expanded, and waited. Real words and AAC taps began during breakfast. Fewer demands. More connection.
Short fact: Using AAC does not stop speech and can support speech development when used well (ASHA).
Here is the hard truth I learned. ABA was recommended fast because it fits big, billable blocks. Insurance liked the numbers. Speech Therapy came with caps, hoops, and delays. Convenience steered us into compliance training. We needed communication support.
If your child has trouble staying focused in therapy, you do not have to “build tolerance” at a table. Ask for movement breaks, quieter space, and activities your child chooses. If your child scripts, ask the SLP to model and expand instead of shutting it down. If your child uses AAC, make sure it is available all day, not handed out only after perfect behavior.
What helped us get real communication at home:
- Request a Speech Therapy evaluation in writing and tie goals to daily life. Breakfast, play, bath, school pickup.
- Ask for play based sessions, AAC modeling, and time to respond. No forced eye contact.
- Observe a session. When your child looks overwhelmed, you should see a pause, comfort, and a real option to stop.
- Start smaller. Short visits, predictable breaks, and one or two steady people.
- Track the day of and the day after. Sleep, appetite, mood, and willingness to return. Use your log to push insurance or request changes.
It can feel overwhelming to change course. You are not alone. A fast insurance yes led us into compliance. Speech Therapy gave my child tools to share ideas, ask for help, and say stop. That is communication. That is safety. If the first plan is not helping your child’s voice grow, pause. Choose partners who protect regulation, honor consent, and build language that lives in your home.
